BOISE — Pregnancy loss affects many families, but their grief often goes unrecognized. During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Our Idaho Stories shares resources to support Idaho families in finding and helping loved ones respond with care. The annual observance honors families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, termination for medical reasons, or infant loss, recognizing the lasting impact of their grief.
Loss is more common than many realize. An estimated 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the March of Dimes. Stillbirth affects about 1 in 175 births nationally, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Pregnancy complications are common too. A National Library of Medicine study found that 46% of the 10 million birth records studied included a pregnancy complication.
Families may experience grief, anxiety, isolation and even fear of judgment. With reduced access to obstetric care in Idaho since 2022, some have also faced urgent travel and traumatic medical emergencies. Those feelings can linger for years, even after the birth of another child.
Loved ones may struggle to know what to say, but meaningful support matters. Our Idaho Stories offers resources for both families experiencing loss, and their support systems.
For families experiencing loss:
— Allow yourself to grieve. The length of a pregnancy doesn’t determine what loss means to you. There is no deadline for grieving, and you don’t have to explain your feelings.
— Remember in your own way. You may want to talk about your baby, the hope you had, say their name, write a letter or mark a meaningful date. You may prefer privacy. Choose what feels right to you.
— Find support. A peer group or grief counselor can offer a place to share your experience and even help others not feel so alone.
For friends and loved ones:
— Acknowledge the loss. A caring message is more helpful than silence. Don’t search for a silver lining or minimize grief with words like “at least.”
— Invite storytelling and listen. Ask whether they want to share about their pregnancy, their hopes for the baby, the name they chose. Respect their answer and follow their lead.
— Keep showing up. Offer specific help, such as a meal, an errand or a night in. Remember anniversaries and check in even when loss happened months or years ago.
On Thursday, Oct. 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, families and their supporters can join the global Wave of Light by lighting a candle at 7 p.m. local time and leaving it lit for at least an hour. The observance is a way to honor the family members we never got to meet and remember alongside others. Additional resources are available through OurIdahoStories.org.